All Categories - Foxhole Father™

Parents' Citizenship Always Trumps Children's Citizenship

11/20/2014

There is so much discussion today about children of illegal immigrants who were born here in the USA and are US citizens because of that.

President Obama has proposed a plan to give the parents of these children a path to citizenship due to their children's US citizenship status.

This is a misdirection. Children must always follow their parents, regardless of their citizenship. If a parent is here illegally, they should be deported to their country of origin, and of course their children must go with the parents. That is what family's do.

Using the children's citizenship is a smoke screen. Imagine if you, as US citizen, had a child born in Britain. That child is a British subject. Imagine when you tried to leave Britain, the authorities told you that your child is British subject, is better off in Britain, and would not be returning home with you. That would be ridiculous.

A government's law giving citizenship to a child has nothing to do with the family, and in these cases should be completely ignored. The rule of law must be upheld, and the parents deported. The children of course stay in the care of their parents. It is not the US government or President Obama's place to dictate what and where a family should live or be comprised of. It is completely arrogant and elitist. If these families were from Western Europe, there would be none of this discussion.

Again, a child's citizenship status has nothing to do with the illegal acts of their parents and should never be considered.

High School Hazing - Investigations Should Focus on Parenting Methods

10/20/2014

High School students involved in hazing are bullies and abusers, and are very similar to college rapists. If you were to ask them, they would see nothing wrong with their behavior. In some way, they are innocent, as they don't know better. Their personalities and psyches were formed in homes over many years. The majority of the conversation and investigations should be directed at the parents of the accused and their parenting methods.

A school program may be able to modify the behavior of someone guilty of hazing, but the damage is already ingrained in that individual. The media is mostly ignoring the parents' role as are the schools. The parents of the accused need to come forward and allow investigators and psychiatric professionals into their homes so their parenting methods can be documented, and others can be taught to avoid them. In many cases, the parents see nothing wrong with what their children have done, and believe it is just a normal part of participating in high school athletics.

Children don't get to High School and suddenly become an abuser of other children. Those tendencies are developed much earlier in life at the hands of their parents. They are as much a victim as the other students they assaulted.

Thoughts on Adrian Peterson's Parenting Methods

10/19/2014

Adrian Peterson is a dedicated and loving father. Many disagree with his parenting methods and have taken the incorrect leap of judging him. We should strive for understanding and education.

Many of us believe, including myself, that disciplining children through violence is regressive and embeds life lessons based on fear, bullying and intimidation.

Again, we should not judge Mr. Peterson just as we should not be judged. All of us could be scrutinized as parents in the same way. Of course there must be standards and laws to protect children from violence. Especially on a first offense, parental education should be the main thrust and not criminal charges.

There are other options for discipline besides violence acts. These take more time, patience and deliberate thought. Many men, myself included, want to defuse tense situations as quickly as possible.

As parents we need to support Mr. Peterson and respect that he is parenting with as much love and concern as we are. Once we can believe that truth, then we can all work together as a nation of parents to raise healthy children. Just because we disagree with his methods, does not mean that he a child abuser.

An open dialogue needs to be established with Mr. Peterson, but now, with criminal charges pending, that will never happen and the lawyers will guide the discussions. That is never good. We should all take a look at our own parenting methods and try to imagine if we were suddenly in the limelight and accused of abuse.

Screaming at your children and ruling a household through verbal intimidation and subjugation is just as bad as physically striking a child and can leave longer lasting emotional trauma and scars. Many parents are bullies and leave their children emotionally flinching in their homes. Just because you don't strike your children, does not mean that you are not using fear and intimidation as a main parenting tool.

I am calling for respectful dialogue and education, with complete respect for the law and due process. I hope Mr. Peterson contacts me. The methods and philosophies in my book offer alternatives to physical violence that are more effective and leave no physical or emotional scarring on children. www.foxholefather.com

College Rape - Rapists & Predators are Created in Dysfunctional Homes

10/2/2014

There has been much talk about college rape recently and that discussion is so important. Being the father of three daughters who have attended college, the worry of college rape was constantly on my mind.

This national conversation is ignoring the most significant source of this problem though. Males don't get to a college campus and suddenly become predators and sociopaths. These men are molded from birth in dysfunctional homes for 18 years.

Yet, there is very little or no discussion about this in the media. Most efforts seem to focus on schools creating awareness programs and safe places for women to report and get help. Those are making an impact, yet they are addressing the issues much too late in the predators' lives.

Parents are the main educators of children. Any school official, teacher or academic rape-related program has a tiny fraction of influence molding a child's inner being and personality. Many school officials I have dealt with seem to believe that they know best for my children and that the parents are inconsequential. This type of thinking is very common and it leads to ignoring avenues for real change.

The parents of the predators and rapists need to get much more attention and focus. What parts of the home environment may have nurtured a child into a rapist and predator? These are harsh questions and some politically correct members of the media will not approach them. College programs, although well-intentioned, make the same mistake that academic institutions of all types and levels have made for decades; minimizing the role the parents and not giving parents the level of responsibility they should bear.

Not until the focus is put on the parenting of these predators, and the government and academic institutions take their appropriate secondary role, will the problem of college rape begin to be fully understood and have a substantial decrease in occurrence.

Late Night Parents Post about Foxhole Father

9/30/2014

http://latenightparents.com/2014/09/30/foxhole-father-field-guide-fathers-foxholefather/

Job Opportunity - Please share with your networks and contacts

9/29/2014

Job Opportunity. Many of know people out of work, especially recent college grads. When I come upon opportunities that seem worthwhile, I post them. Please share with everyone you know as they may know someone who can benefit.

http://www.choozerjobs.com/l/SiSense/bh49?sthash.HIsVy52u.mjjo#sthash.HIsVy52u.jTGtINFO.dpuf

FAFSA Memo for parents of college studetnts

9/28/2014

FAFSA Memo for parents of college studetnts http://bit.ly/CWCPA-FAFSA #studentloans #college

Foxhole Father, The Field Guide for Fathers is On Sale!

9/28/2014

I wanted to thank all of my family and supporters. The day is finally here. My book is available for sale.

Christopher R. Whalen
Foxhole Father

Thoughts on the Celebrity Picture Hacking Scandal

9/21/2014

No one discusses the parents of these sociopaths. Why? Predators such as these are not created in a vacuum. They are nurtured in homes by parents. That is the where society needs to cast its scrutiny as soon as possible. College rapists are the same. They did not just become sadistic predators the moment they came to campus. Find the parents and demand answers. Find out what they did to create these sociopaths. Maybe putting pressure on their parents will curb their activities. Bad parenting is so pervasive today. The source of poor behaviors is clear yet so many seem confused how to battle them.

9/11 Rememberance

9/16/2014

Author's Note: Although the circumstances from which this story was inspired were incredibly sad, this story is one of hope and peace at life’s end. It is meant to give solace to those who lost loved ones on 9/11. Most of the grieving hoped that their lost loved ones did not suffer. This story takes that idea to a much greater place.

Floor 101 (inspired by the terrorist attacks of 9/11/2001)

By Christopher R. Whalen

The elevator door opened on Floor 101 of the North Tower. His left foot began his exit from the elevator car of what would soon be called the former site of The World Trade Center, when he heard and felt it.

He was 32 years of age, and a senior engineer for The Port Authority.

His brain instantly processed and filtered all of the stimuli it had just received. He felt the instinctive fear and survival responses that even the lowest level primate would have felt at that moment, but his brain also gave him instructions for survival based on his accumulated experience.

Twelve years prior he had served as an explosive expert within the Navy Seals. He had led covert operations in and around the gulf region. His accomplishments were never made public, but a Navy Seal did not need fame to feel accomplished nor did he do his job for accolades.

His experience told him that most likely a large incendiary device had detonated on a floor below him and that this was not an accident. He knew he needed to evacuate the building. Dormant instincts and military training that he had not used since November, 1990, the month and year of his honorable discharge from the Navy, instantly re-bloomed. They were vibrant and focused, but more importantly, able to help him react correctly to what was happening around him, as if he was still performing his duty for his country.

All of these thoughts, the primal and elevated, took less than a second to fill his mind from the moment he felt the concussive force of the airliner that had struck the building he was in. He would never know what caused what he had felt. Within seconds from the initial sound of the blast and simultaneous rocking of the building, his two-way radio was rendered worthless.

The floor he was standing on was completely vacant and a new tenant had just recently signed a multi-year lease. He was the main engineer assigned to the fit-up of the space. He looked around at what seemed like a war zone; electrical wires hanging, old dry wall, dust, nails, and carpeting strewn on the floor. The demolition team had almost completed their work yesterday. He was here to supervise the finishing of it.

He opened the door of a stairwell and thick black smoke engulfed him. He quickly retreated and closed it. He suddenly realized there was jet fuel burning. This momentarily confused him, but he discarded this as irrelevant almost instantly. He checked all other stairwell doors but each one was impassable. The entire floor began to fill up with smoke and flames began to creep up the walls.

He realized that there would be no escape for him. He dialed his wife of fourteen years on his cellular phone.

His home telephone rang and their answering machine answered his call.

He heard his voice. He smiled as the announcement played as he could recall his wife telling him how stupid it was going to sound.

“You have reached Lisa, Rita, Emily and Jack McCarthy, after the tone, you’re on your own….BEEP”

He spoke.

“Lisa, I love you. I am on 101 in Tower One and there has been a massive explosion of some kind. The floor is filling with smoke. I have no way out. I love you. Tell the kids that I love them and that I am proud of them. Please make sure they go to college and please tell them to be happy. Tell them to stand up for what they believe in and that I will be with them always. Tell Rita I am sorry for yelling at her last night. I apologized this morning when I kissed her goodbye but she was sleeping. The money my father left me is in the shed, in a box, buried underneath a floorboard in the far right corner. Count three from the back. My life insurance is with CNA. Call the lawyer as soon as possible. When winter comes you need to turn the boiler on the right way or you can blow up the house, call the gas company and they will come and do it. And don’t forget…”

BEEP. The message had reached its limit.

He called back. “And don’t forget my mom’s medication. You will have to go over there and make sure she is taking it.” He coughed so hard he saw bright swirling stars. “You are young and beautiful and you should not be alone. If you find someone, someone who you love more than you love me, never let him go. If you don’t meet anyone who truly replaces me in your heart, stay true to me, as I will be waiting for you. Roger will help you with any money or tax issues. Make sure my grandsons get my old baseball stuff. You were the gift God gave me. I will always love you.”

He coughed hard and began to lose his breath.

Countless images and feelings flooded past his conscious mind up to the time that morning at 4am when he kissed his twins in their beds just before leaving for work.

He put a shirt in front of his mouth, in an attempt to delay his blacking out.

For the first time since he was ten years old, Jack McCarthy cried. He was leaning against an outer wall on Floor 101 of the North Tower of what would soon be called the former site of The World Trade Center.

For the first time since his father died, he prayed, but this time he prayed for passage of his soul to the afterlife if one existed.

His mind was quickly shutting down. He attempted to continue thinking as many suffering from smoke inhalation often do, but the blackness caused by his lack of oxygen was now almost complete.

Suddenly, his mind was more awake than it had ever been. Perfectly clear and beyond vivid were the only words that accurately described what he was seeing. He was being shown memories the way many people close to death experience “their lives passing before their eyes.” He was confused as these moments of remembering were supposed to fly by in an instant.

This was different.

He was sitting in the bleachers of what would be his daughters’ high school at their graduation. It was hot and there was a bead of sweat traveling down the nape of his neck. The sun was bright. Rita had just been given the French award for four years of outstanding achievement in language arts. Emily had sung an aria from her father’s favorite opera and had dedicated it to him at the beginning of commencement. The pride he felt was tangible and his heart was so full that he thought it would burst.

He was at mother’s bedside stroking her hair. She had chosen to come home to die. He had brought her here just a few days prior. He could smell the wonderful smells of the home within which he was raised. He climbed the steps of his childhood, this time, carrying his emaciated mother to her deathbed. The dosage of her pain medication was so high that she would occasionally stop breathing. He tended to her constantly in her last days and there were brief moments, where, although a stroke had long since taken her ability to speak, he could see the true mother’s love she had for him in her soul expressed through her beautiful deep blue eyes. It was those eyes that were staring at him in adoration as her heart simply stopped beating.

He was at a hospital and there was a newborn baby in his arms. It was the third grandson his daughter Emily had given him. This son of Emily’s would be named for her father. He could feel his silent tears rolling down his cheeks. He could hear himself saying, “Well hello Jack.” over and over again and hear his wife laughing at him as she sat in the chair by the window which overlooked the river in his daughter’s hospital room.

He was in front of a priest and to his right was his bride. It was their fiftieth wedding anniversary and they were renewing their vows. Lisa was crying, and she looked as stunning in her wedding dress as she had fifty years earlier to this very day. I do… I do….. He was kissing his bride before the priest gave him permission. He hadn’t needed permission to kiss his wife in a very long time.

He saw his wife in the last throws of pancreatic cancer in her ninetieth year. God allowed him to be there cradling her as he saw her heart monitor flat line and his daughters burst into tears. He saw the wedding ring he had given her over seven decades earlier still on her finger. She had never taken it off since the day she had put it on. She was his and he now knew she would always be.

These and a million other vivid memories of the life he would never get to live were given to him as he lie there dying on Floor 101 of the North Tower of what would soon be called the former site of The World Trade Center.

He was allowed to see within the hearts and souls of his daughters throughout their lives and he saw them strong, happy, capable and truly living life. This memory he was most grateful for.

He was shown himself, lying on one of the top floors of one of the world’s tallest buildings. He was holding a cellular phone to his ear, a shirt against his mouth, and he was trying to speak through the thick black smoke and flames that were growing nearer and thicker. As he slipped into unconsciousness, the phone fell to the floor with the line still open and his home answering machine recording until it reached its message length limit.

At this point the first flames began to lick his body.

He felt and saw himself die.

He saw his body consumed in flames and reduced to ash in seconds and then Jack McCarthy, former Navy Seal, proud husband, father of two beautiful twin daughters, a true American son and patriot, ceased to exist.