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High School Hazing - Investigations Should Focus on Parenting Methods

10/20/2014

High School students involved in hazing are bullies and abusers, and are very similar to college rapists. If you were to ask them, they would see nothing wrong with their behavior. In some way, they are innocent, as they don't know better. Their personalities and psyches were formed in homes over many years. The majority of the conversation and investigations should be directed at the parents of the accused and their parenting methods.

A school program may be able to modify the behavior of someone guilty of hazing, but the damage is already ingrained in that individual. The media is mostly ignoring the parents' role as are the schools. The parents of the accused need to come forward and allow investigators and psychiatric professionals into their homes so their parenting methods can be documented, and others can be taught to avoid them. In many cases, the parents see nothing wrong with what their children have done, and believe it is just a normal part of participating in high school athletics.

Children don't get to High School and suddenly become an abuser of other children. Those tendencies are developed much earlier in life at the hands of their parents. They are as much a victim as the other students they assaulted.

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Thoughts on Adrian Peterson's Parenting Methods

10/19/2014

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Adrian Peterson is a dedicated and loving father. Many disagree with his parenting methods and have taken the incorrect leap of judging him. We should strive for understanding and education.

Many of us believe, including myself, that disciplining children through violence is regressive and embeds life lessons based on fear, bullying and intimidation.

Again, we should not judge Mr. Peterson just as we should not be judged. All of us could be scrutinized as parents in the same way. Of course there must be standards and laws to protect children from violence. Especially on a first offense, parental education should be the main thrust and not criminal charges.

There are other options for discipline besides violence acts. These take more time, patience and deliberate thought. Many men, myself included, want to defuse tense situations as quickly as possible.

As parents we need to support Mr. Peterson and respect that he is parenting with as much love and concern as we are. Once we can believe that truth, then we can all work together as a nation of parents to raise healthy children. Just because we disagree with his methods, does not mean that he a child abuser.

An open dialogue needs to be established with Mr. Peterson, but now, with criminal charges pending, that will never happen and the lawyers will guide the discussions. That is never good. We should all take a look at our own parenting methods and try to imagine if we were suddenly in the limelight and accused of abuse.

Screaming at your children and ruling a household through verbal intimidation and subjugation is just as bad as physically striking a child and can leave longer lasting emotional trauma and scars. Many parents are bullies and leave their children emotionally flinching in their homes. Just because you don't strike your children, does not mean that you are not using fear and intimidation as a main parenting tool.

I am calling for respectful dialogue and education, with complete respect for the law and due process. I hope Mr. Peterson contacts me. The methods and philosophies in my book offer alternatives to physical violence that are more effective and leave no physical or emotional scarring on children. www.foxholefather.com

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College Rape - Rapists & Predators are Created in Dysfunctional Homes

10/2/2014

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There has been much talk about college rape recently and that discussion is so important. Being the father of three daughters who have attended college, the worry of college rape was constantly on my mind.

This national conversation is ignoring the most significant source of this problem though. Males don't get to a college campus and suddenly become predators and sociopaths. These men are molded from birth in dysfunctional homes for 18 years.

Yet, there is very little or no discussion about this in the media. Most efforts seem to focus on schools creating awareness programs and safe places for women to report and get help. Those are making an impact, yet they are addressing the issues much too late in the predators' lives.

Parents are the main educators of children. Any school official, teacher or academic rape-related program has a tiny fraction of influence molding a child's inner being and personality. Many school officials I have dealt with seem to believe that they know best for my children and that the parents are inconsequential. This type of thinking is very common and it leads to ignoring avenues for real change.

The parents of the predators and rapists need to get much more attention and focus. What parts of the home environment may have nurtured a child into a rapist and predator? These are harsh questions and some politically correct members of the media will not approach them. College programs, although well-intentioned, make the same mistake that academic institutions of all types and levels have made for decades; minimizing the role the parents and not giving parents the level of responsibility they should bear.

Not until the focus is put on the parenting of these predators, and the government and academic institutions take their appropriate secondary role, will the problem of college rape begin to be fully understood and have a substantial decrease in occurrence.

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High School Hazing - Investigations Should Focus on Parenting Methods

Thoughts on Adrian Peterson's Parenting Methods

College Rape - Rapists & Predators are Created in Dysfunctional Homes

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